< SWITCH ME >

I am a rare breed: both European and American, the result of diplomat parents and a childhood spent in Europe and the US. German is my mother tongue, but America is my home country. Therefore, I understand both why Americans call Europeans "Eurotrash," and why Europeans do not get the term and are somehow insulted by it (don't be, it's all for love! - and no, it does not only refer to Posh & Becks). In this article, I will provide definitions of some of the types of Europeans that Americans like to call Eurotrash.

the artsy Eastern European girl

Main characteristics:

She is called something like Tatiana, Zuzana or Katarina and usually impresses right away with her gothic, cool appearance. She is notably mysterious about her life in Europe and only rarely reveals details about it – and when she does, you never quite know if she is telling the truth or not. She paints weird, creepy pictures of foetuses and two-headed animals and appears bored by her art classes. Once you get to know her, though, you are taken with her dark sense of humour, her sharp mind and her freakishly high tolerance of alcohol. (Around Christmas, her family will send her a package of local treats, including a homemade brandy that will make everyone but her see double and hallucinate about little Hungarian dwarfs, though she insists that the black, slimy liquid is "just like wine, really.")

brnady
Photo: Catherine Rankovic (CC-BY-NC-ND 2.0)
The sort of liquor that our artsy girl brushes her teeth with

Memorable quotes:

"My dad won a wrestling competition against Vladimir Putin while touring in Russia with his dancing troupe."

"I lived in Paris for a year with an extremely well known male author. Can't tell you who, though..."

"My ex-boyfriend dyes his shirts pink with his own blood. That's so boringly conformist and predictable!"

Favourite thing about USA:

We honestly do not know.

Called Eurotrash by:

Jealous American girls who think that their boyfriends are into her, and her art teacher – because he does not want to admit he doesn't get her art.

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