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online dating horror stories

This past Christmas, single 24-year-old Callie found an online dating gift card under her Christmas tree wrapped up from none other than… her mum. Although Callie didn't create an account according to her mother's wishes, she had tried online dating before and experienced enough of a Spanish inquisition on one of her first dates never to try it again.

'All he talked about was sex: how many partners did I have? How many did I want to have? What have I done? What did I want to have done? After two hours of awkward sexual details, I said I wanted to go home.

'Though the entire experience turned Callie off from dating for life, it did leave her with some good stories. 'I did get messaged from a guy who thought I would make a good third person in a polyamorous relationship between him and his wife.'

girl dating online

Photo: mislav-m (CC BY)

Desktop, laptop, smart phone or feature phone: any gadget does the trick!

Cindy, another former online dater, has an equally epic horror story.

'The guy – who was white - kept trying to 'talk ghetto' to me (I'm black). At one point, he said he'd lived in New York. He'd been to Bed Stuy. He'd walked those streets.'

In one hilarious encounter, a reader didn't fully understand an online site's promise of 'all kinds of relationships' was a reference to sexual relationships, and not friendships. She went out with a fellow female to a club called 'P', and on her way home, her new friend took her to an underground sex party. What can we say? It's the little things in life.

Raluca, a 24-year-old from Bucharest, Romania, who found her long-term partner on on OkCupid two years ago, sees people's unfortunate encounters with online dating as a factor of trying to make yourself appear normal on an abnormal platform.

'Those who value being normal in a partner, whatever that is, tend to be disappointed with online dating. The more you put yourself out there with all of your little quirks the more likely you are to be matched with someone (whose company) you actually enjoy.'

Raluca has a point – the creation of your online profile is the rite of passage that comes with online dating. How you conceptualise yourself in your profile, mixed with what you want to gain from another online dater, can greatly affect your experiences. If you're willing to present yourself honestly, you're sidestepping someone setting expectations for you that can lead to disappointment.

Another way to avoid disappointment is to be honest with yourself about where you are in life. This will help you set realistic expectations of what you are trying to gain from online dating.

Where the princess meets the prince

THREE TIPS FOR ONLINE DATING

Sarah gave us these great words of advice for online dating so we could start our online dating adventures on the right footing.

1. Take your profile seriously. Be honest with what you need and who you are. If you say you're just interested in hooking up, that's what you're going to get. If you're interested in a relationship, say it.

2. Be confident in who you are and what you're looking for. If you don't want to see them again, tell them.  Although you need to be sensitive to others' feelings, part of the experience is learning what you want, and what you don't want.

3. You'll probably get hurt, but that's what dating is. There will always be a lot of hurt in anything that's worth it, but there will also a really great reward.

While Sarah was going on her 31 dates in 31 one days, she came across a profile of a guy whom she thought was cute: 'I talked to Joey in January. He was on my list of potential people to date. But for some reason, it never happened. I'm glad I didn't talk to him because it wouldn't have worked. I just wasn't in that space.'

Over the next few months, Sarah started dating another guy, but for various reasons, it didn't work out. When things unraveled, Sarah gave it some time, and decided to online date again. This time around, when she saw Joey's profile again, she went for it. Seven months later, they are in a relationship and Sarah is 'the happiest I've ever been'. Ultimately, if you're looking for something serious, don't give up. Online dating can be exhausting. Regardless of whether you have bad or good experiences, you will learn a lot about yourself. So even if you only date losers, you're learning what you don't want and developing a better sense of your own value and what you deserve.

 

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